Double Eagle and the Double Punch

This is a funny world we live in. You can be on top of the world one minute and be going toe to toe with some drunken buffoon the next. And that's where I found myself last night.


More on that in a sec, but let's go back to the beginning. As most of you know, Wednesday is golf league night. Last night was fun night where we were all divided into 4-somes for a 4-man scramble. After not doing much the first 2 holes I came alive on the 3rd, hitting a 300 yard drive and a sand wedge to 8 feet where a teammate made the birdie putt. Another bomb drive on the 4th led to a par. After parring the 5th we went to the par 5 6th (15th hole, we were playing the back nine). Another 300 yard drive led to a tap in birdie. And again on the next hole, yet another big drive and we par.

That takes us to the 8th hole (#17) at -2. Once again I murder a drive down the middle and we're sitting at about 185 yards out (486 yard hole) after my tee shot. I go first and just play my ball where it lies (side note: in a scramble, everyone hits the ball they determine to be in the best position and can drop anywhere within a club length of it, no nearer the hole). It was important that I played the ball where it was without lifting it or anything, and that's because I took a 5 iron and hit a beautiful shot, just right of the hole, drawing slightly in... I'm hoping it'll be within 10 feet so we have a good look at eagle.... the ball lands, bounces once and rolls slowly turning towards the cup and DISAPPEARS! My first double eagle (2 on a par 5)! I still cannot believe it happened. My friends playing in different groups said later they were wondering who was screaming like a girl... yeah, that was me.

So, my name is in the paper (it's more rare than a hole in one), last name spelled wrong of course...

We win the scramble at -5 by 1 shot. Plenty of congrats in the clubhouse, just a great night.

Then I decide to hustle home about 8:30.

That's where the story turns horribly wrong... As I leave the parking lot I am quickly behind some moron in a red pickup truck that keeps crossing the center line, then jerking it back over and then crossing again, etc. He makes it to the Cottage Grove road stop sign without killing anyone and I'm thinking "man, this dude is hammered".

He turns left on CG road, same direction I'm going. Speed limit is 55, but he seems to mis-read 35 for 55 and I'm behind him giving him the international "what the fuck" symbol. He's not going any faster and of course, keeps drifting over the center line. I get to a passing zone and decide to get away from this asshole as quick as I can, so I blow by him and as I pass I look over and yell "Get the fuck off the road!" and continue on. I only live a mile away but by the time I get to my turn I'm a half mile ahead of him. I turn into my garage and park and get out only to see him pulling up in front of the house.

He comes storming up my driveway and I walk out to meet him. He gets right in my face yelling something about me yelling at him. I said "Maybe you should go back and have another drink before you drive" which is pretty hypocritical of me considering I'd had several Island Wheats myself. He says, to my amusement, "I was on the phone" to which I sarcastically respond with "Maybe you shouldn't be on the phone while you're driving since you obviously can't do both". Now, it's also obvious he's been drinking as well.

He's right in my face and I'm noticing he's got about 6" and 40 lbs on me when he gives me the 2 handed shove to the chest. I step back and come right forward again and all of a sudden he slaps me! Slaps! Like a girl! I dodged around him laughing "Did you just slap me???".

And now he is pissed. He comes storming towards me again and I'm thinking "this dude is not going to just walk away" so as he's coming in I launch a right cross and catch him right on the jaw. He staggers back as I dance around him getting over to the grass where I have more traction (I still had my golf shoes on). Now he's in his Marvin Hagler stance and wants to box. This is where I'm grateful for Showtime Boxing on the Nintendo Wii where I've honed my boxing skills (lol). He comes forward again and I flick a jab and catch him right on the point of his chin. He steps back and takes a wild swing which I duck under.

At about this time, Cdubya has heard the commotion and come out where she begins screaming for us to stop. I'm poised and ready to beat the shit out of this drunken jackass but he stops and just stares at her. She says "You want to hit me, go ahead." He mumbles something about if he sees me again he'll hit me again to which I laugh and say "you haven't hit me yet" and throw in a "douchebag" just for good measure. It's then that I notice the golf glove in his back pocket. Great, he plays league on Wednesdays at Door Creek, I'll probably get matched up with him in the final round of the club championship this year. He gets in his truck and drives away as I stand in the driveway.

Of course, I know what's coming next so I'm a little afraid to go inside... I finally relent and I get the lecture I knew was coming. "How many times have I told you to not do things like that?" "You have to just mind your own business", "You should have just called the police".

And all I'm thinking is "I'd really like to tell you about my double eagle".

Recovery

Well, after a turbulent month things are starting to get back to some semblance of normality. Drexel Interiors came out Thursday and Friday and put down my new basement flooring. We decided to go with an inexpensive vinyl flooring instead of doing the laminate hardwood again. We got something that can withstand a little water on it without ruining it, just in case. It has a wood pattern and looks fairly similar to the old flooring.


I took some pictures and posted them on my basement finishing blog. You can also compare to the old flooring over there.

Beware of Mitsubishi DLP's

Late Saturday afternoon I sat down to watch some US Open and the Brewer game on my 57" Mitsubishi DLP tv, only to have it turn off right after it turned on. No matter what I did (unplug, reset, etc), it wouldn't turn on. Then I got a red light for the Lamp indicator. Looks like my lamp is dead. Funny, I've only had it for about 18 months, didn't think it would need to be replaced already.

I purchased the Advantage protection plan from Circuit City so I figured it would be simple to get a new lamp. I called CC, found that I have to call the 888 number for the plan, so I called that. Ugh, only open during normal business hours. Ok, no tv till at least Monday. I brought down my HD monitor from my office and set that up instead. Not quite the same watching the Open on a 28" instead of a 57" but for a day or two I can live with it.

I called the protection plan people this morning and with the help of a Mitsubishi tech they determined the lamp needed to be replaced. Wow, they sure are smart. (that's called sarcasm, kids).

The friendly guy with the plan says it'll be shipping UPS ground this afternoon and should be here in about a week. A WEEK!?!?!?!??! Are you fucking kidding me???? "Sir, I'm sorry but Mitsubishi does not allow us to ship their parts overnight." What the fuck, this has to be a joke. Sorry, sir, hopefully it will arrive in 3-5 days. Sonofadirtygoatfucker....

Then I started doing a little research. Turns out I'm definitely not the only one having problems with the Mits DLP's. There are A LOT of people having problems. And not just with the lamps, but that is a very common one. I'm not looking forward to having the same additional problems that these people are having (multiple bulb burnouts, ballast replacements, light engines, circuit boards, etc).

Consider this a warning if you're thinking about getting a new Mitsubishi DLP. I bought it mainly because I have a Mitsubishi 55" rear projection that I've had for about 6 years with only one minor issue. Now, I'm pretty sure I won't go this route again.

It probably wouldn't be that big of a deal if my basement hadn't flooded. That's where the other Mits is living and since the flooring is going to be installed later this week I've had to tear everything out and it's not hooked up so I don't really have another option.

Roll with the punches

So called Professionals

You know what really irks me about some "professional" baseball players?

No, not the millions of dollars they make for playing a game.

No, not the "world owes me something" attitudes.

It's the inability of these people to do the most basic things that we learn how to do in little league. I'm talking about fundamentals like bunting or throwing a ball to a base.

Twice on Tuesday night Brewer pitchers could successfully throw a baseball to first base. These are guys that throw 90+ mph pitches to exact spots 60' away but you give them a bunt where they need to make a 40' throw to first base and they will bounce it half way there. How is this possible? I pitched for over 20 years in a variety of leagues and I cannot recall ever having an issue with throwing a ball to a base.

Do they forget how to throw off flat ground? Do they need to run back to the mound first? I mean I've seen them spin on the mound and throw hard to a base to pick off a runner and they're right on the money. But give them 15 minutes to get a nice easy throw to first on a sacrifice bunt and they one hop it into right field.

On Tuesday Julian Taveras did this in a 2-1 game and ended up giving up 4 runs to lose any chance at winning the game. I came unhinged, screaming at the television.

We need to send these so-called professionals back to little league so the 9 year olds can show them how to do it.

---

Well, I'm sure you've all heard about the heavy rains we've had which have caused massive flooding (and one lake being emptied). I thought for sure golf league would be water logged out last night but surprisingly Door Creek dried up enough for us to play and I was amazed at how well the course was considering the 8" of rain we had just a few days earlier.

Of course, today we've had another batch of big storms rolling through. It's supposed to end tonight. I have a tournament to play in on Saturday, I sure hope the water drains.

That's it for now, stay dry!

Glub Glub Glub

That's the sound of the southern half of Wisconsin going underwater as we deluged by rain over the weekend. Well, not just rain; very high winds, tornadoes, hail, etc. What a wonderful spring weekend.

In Madison we had over 4" of rain yesterday added to almost 2" on Saturday. And we got off easy. Just an hour north of us they had over 8" on Saturday and another 7" yesterday. Just crazy. Everything is underwater.

I went by Door Creek at about 1:00 yesterday afternoon and the little creek running through the back nine was about 50' onto the fairway. And that was BEFORE our torrential downpour last night. I'm sure most of the course is under water by now.

This just in: Bridges golf course closed through at least Wednesday.

I'm assuming Door Creek is closed too and that we won't have league Wednesday. I'm more concerned about the 27 hole Challenge tournament scheduled for Saturday. We're supposed to get more storms Thursday and Friday which would pretty much end any hope of playing Saturday.

The Yin and Yang of golf

Have you ever noticed that when you finally figure out the one thing that's been going wrong in your game that something else will fall apart? The golf gods appear to need you to maintain some sort of balance between good and not so good (evil?).

When I first got the new driver I struggled with it for a few rounds but was still chipping well enough to save myself some strokes. Well, I finally got the driver figured out and am hitting it pretty well (for the most part, never perfect obviously) and now I can't putt. Now, don't get me wrong, I've never been a stellar putter but I was getting better at it (got fitted for a new putter last fall).

Yesterday was a perfect example of how, even if you think you're putting the ball pretty well, it doesn't count unless it actually goes in the hole. I constantly burned the lip, just missed by millimeters, had good speed but misread the line or had the line and misread the speed. It's amazing how many little things have to go right to get that little white ball into the cup.

I actually played the entire round without a single 1-putt. I don't recall ever doing that before, at least over 18 holes. And to make matters worse, I 3-putted 5 times, including 3 in a row on 9-11. 2 of those were understandable. I was 70 feet away (wrong part of the green) on 9 and 11 is just a bitch of a green if you have to putt side hill. Ended up with 41 putts. Almost half my strokes were putts. That, is only good if I'm planning on shooting a 60. I'd been averaging about 34 putts. Just being average would have given me an 83 instead of a 90.

Just goes to show you, drive for show, putt for dough. Looks like I'll be spending some additional time on the putting green this week practicing.

My goal of breaking 80 this year can only be done by reducing my putts. If I don't get any better best I can expect is 83/84.


Of course, if I was to someone magically become better at putting, you know damn well something else would completely fall apart. Such is the yin and yang of this frustrating game.