Impending death versus the open road

Ok, it's 6am, you're making your morning commute to work on the beltline. You know from the radio and tv and common sense that the roads are quite icy. It rained/snowed all night and got colder, we know you can do that simple math...
But you're faced with a dilemma. You've never seen this much open road on the beltline before, it must be your lucky day! So, common sense and caution go sit in the back seat, maybe you turn the stereo up a little louder than usual to drown out their screams, and you press the accelerator a little harder... this ain't so bad, you think as you approach 70 mph and close in on the Whitney Way overpass... you reach down to check your messages on your cell phone as you take another swig of coffee... the car veers slightly towards the shoulder. Not a problem, you adjust the wheel with your knee (you've got it in cruise control now at 72 mph, well over the 55 limit). Something is tickling the back of your brain, telling you this might be a mistake but you just ignore it and go back to your messages as the car begins a slide towards the guard rail, but you don't really notice until you see the lights of a snow plow up ahead, which causes you to tap the brakes as you're going over Whitney Way and whoooooooaaaaaa neeellllllyyyyyy, you slide clean off the road, flip and barrel roll down the embankment, just like in NASCAR. Only when you come to a rest upside down in a giant mud puddle, your cell phone is stuck in your mouth and your own urine has joined the hot coffee in your lap. It doesn't matter to you though, you're dead.
One more jackass off the road...

I also learned a new term last night while watching The War at Home, which I tivo'd from Sunday night (it's on before Family Guy on Fox, and stars Michael Rappaport). His slightly gay son is dating a very fat, ugly girl and he can't believe it. He's ok with the heavy girl that's got the pretty face or the one with the great body but no face but not both. He says to his wife that he's dated his share of butterfaces before and she asks "butterface?" To which he replies, "you know, everything's great but 'er face." At which point I choked on my Guiness and couldn't stop laughing for 10 minutes. It's amazing how I still find humor in sitcoms.

And last night was the Country Music Awards and the big winner was... oh, who gives a fuck.